Finding Calm in the Mess

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If baking with kids often leaves you feeling torn between making memories and managing the mess, this one’s for you. From flour explosions to overflowing bowls, messy baking is part of the learning process and sometimes the magic too.

How to Stay Calm When Baking With Kids Gets Messy

Let's set the scene:

The bowl spins, the cloud of flour puffs out, sticky fingers grab the spoon. The oil slops, the eggshells drop, and you can feel crunchy sugar under your toes.

We’ve all been there, and some of us handle it with more grace and patience than others. As adults, we can ‘see where this is going’ as soon as there is a wobble in the pouring or scooping, or just at the level of general enthusiasm some kids have when it comes to creating in the kitchen.

We can see the mess, the clean-up, the overwhelm, and we want to avoid it. So we say ‘be careful’, ‘watch that’, ‘maybe just let me do it’, or, if we are getting increasingly exasperated, ‘look what you did!’.

None of that makes for a fun baking experience for kids or for you.

So, what can we do when we feel ourselves going towards the negative feelings while baking with kids? As adults, our natural instinct is to control. We want to step in, tidy as we go, do it ourselves and save time so we can get to the end result.

We want to avoid the messy bits.

But, what if there is something to be discovered IN the mess?

Just like the saying ‘we learn from our mistakes’, in baking, there is learning in the mess.

Messy baking is a chance to learn.

As a teacher, I've seen time and time again how the best learning happens when it's in an authentic context. When we spoon, pour, mix and measure we learn science- how things change when they mix together, maths- measurement and volume, as well as fine motor skills, problem solving and much much more!

I’m a big one on kids being given the freedom to experiment in the kitchen. Experimenting comes with a bit of chaos, and if we can embrace that and even cheer them on through it, THIS is the most authentic learning that there is.

Ever tried to get eggshell out of the bowl? That is messy learning! (Tip: lightly wet your finger and then scoop it out, or use a bigger piece of eggshell to scrape it out the side.)

Most of the time, the spills and drips and whoopsies are not on purpose, so taking a breath before responding, or laughing about it together, will ease any future baking anxiety for your kids.

Pause.

Breathe.

Choose presence over control.

It doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You can even say to yourself, ‘This moment won’t last forever,’ and that can mean the mess, but also the opportunity for connection and core memories (which you know I am all about!).

And you may even find yourself relaxing into the state of the kitchen, knowing that it will get cleaned up eventually.

Kids learn from observing what is modelled.

As the adult, the energy you bring sets the environment. If we are frantic, hurried and worried, that will impact our kids. If we can model calm, even when the entire bowl contents tip onto the floor, then they can learn how to respond themselves in stressful situations. You can problem solve together instead of being on opposite sides.

‘Oops, that spilled - what could we do?’

‘Uh-oh, too much liquid went in - hmmm, what should we do?’

In these types of moments, baking is a tool to teach emotional responses. How can we respond when life gets tough or things don't go as expected? These are the moments they remember.

As adults, we carry a lot in our heads, and it can be hard to forget about all our lists and be present. But for our kids, these bakes together, these smiles and jokes, these flour-covered times are special memories they will look back on fondly.

Many of the recipes you make together now, they will one day have in their own recipe journals as their ‘go-to’ cakes or cookies, because they learned so much while creating them with you.

Ready to find the calm in the mess?

These double chocolate chip coookies are a good one to bake together. They're messy, forgiving, fun and most importantly, SO delicious!

There are lots of hands-on steps, which of course means plenty of chances for spills — but you’ve got the calm response sorted now!

Remember, at the end of the day, the mess won’t last, the kids will grow, and these moments of connection matter more than the sticky sugar spilt between your toes. Some days you’ll embrace the chaos beautifully. Other days you’ll hear yourself saying “careful!” seventeen times in ten minutes. Both are normal.

Maybe you can be in the mess, just for a moment.

Until next time,

Heather xx

P.S. If you want simple, confidence-building recipes designed specifically for baking with kids, you’ll love Baking Club. Everything is created to help make these moments feel easier, calmer and more fun - for both of you.